These soup comparisons make more sense than the Suns’ offense last season.
At the Suns Planet Podcast, we talk about food a lot! I personally believe that food is sort of the front door to learning about culture. Growing up in Iowa, I never met more than a couple of Phoenix Suns fans. So, I always wanted to connect more with the fanbase of the team I chose to love.
Luckily, I have been able to meet and team up with more Suns fans from all over the world. In fact, we have had guests from Argentina, Canada, Uruguay, Paraguay, Chile, England, Spain, France, Kenya, Australia, Singapore, Philippines, Germany, Ireland (shout out to former Suns center Pat Burke), Colombia, and Belgium.
In each episode, we talk a lot about local cuisine, and I feel like I have learned a lot about the people. Inspired by a recent group conversation with other Suns podcasters where Boyd of the Aussie Suns Fans Podcast criticized John Voita for eating soup during a live video talking about new Suns coach Jordan Ott, I thought… someone needs to defend soup! Someone needs to identify which soup would go with each Suns player.
Well, Suns fans, I am here to help! Also, a shoutout to Paul from Fanning the Flames for not outright dismissing my sideways soup conversation.
Also why soup? Why not?! Soup is ancient! It dates back to the dawn of pottery (thanks, Civilization franchise, for teaching me that) 10,000-20,000 years ago. Every culture, except Boyd’s house, has a soup. It can be hot, cold, spicy, savory, sour, vegetarian, pescatarian, and everything in between. Let’s dig into the Suns roster with a big bowl of the good stuff!
Kevin Durant: Maryland Crab Soup
KD is a Washington DC native, and blue crabs are super popular in the area. Crab soup is rich and smooth, just like KD. It is refined and lets the simple crab have all the focus. Similarly, KD likes to focus on chillin’ and ballin’. His jumper is perfect and deserves all the attention, just like the crab.
Additionally, there are no unnecessary ingredients in the soup, and no unnecessary movements in KD’s game.
Devin Booker: Wild Mushroom Soup
We know Book is deep and down to earth. He has an elegant style both on and off the court. Booker, like wild mushroom soup, commands respect. The soup features umami flavor, which is a top-shelf flavor focused on by chefs everywhere, just like Booker, who has been focused on by defenses every game since his rookie season.
Also, it really goes well with Pinot Noir or Merlot, and we know Book loves a good bottle of vino.
Bradley Beal: Lobster Bisque
Big Panda is not always available, and he is expensive, just like it isn’t always lobster season, and either way, it is always expensive.
It is a great soup, but it is hard to get right, and it is hard to justify. It also doesn’t pair with everything, just like Beal didn’t fit with the team last season. There is always hope that lobster bisque will be awesome, but there are often a lot of examples of regret when getting the soup.
Here’s hoping that Beal switches to more of a vegetable beef, so he can stay healthy and be more of a total package.
Grayson Allen: Spicy Gumbo
I feel like Grayson likes the heat. He is a Florida guy, and gumbo runs the Gulf Coast. Grayson loves to heat up from three-point range, and a spicy gumbo can present that slowly increasing burn. The spices, sausage, and seafood are a chaotic mix of awesome, and Grayson was brought in to be our “F*** S*** up Guy” as Suns Jam calls him.
Photo by Danielle Parhizkaran/The Boston Globe via Getty Images
Royce O’Neale: Texas Style Brisket Chili
First off, chili is a soup. Fight me. Second, Royce’s nickname is Big Meal, and he is from Texas. So of course, you know he is going for some Texas brisket chili. It is big, meaty, and reliable. It sticks to your bones like Royce does to offensive opponents. It isn’t flashy but it is always solid. This is the occasional soup you need, not necessarily something you want. This is the soup that gets you through a winter day, or the dog days of the NBA regular season.
Ryan Dunn: Italian Wedding Soup
Ryan is from New York and has that blue-collar workman-like attitude on defense. New York Italian delis love this soup. It has been mastered by the blue-collar Italian immigrants who knew how to balance the greens, meatballs, and broth.
It isn’t super rich, savory, or sweet. It is solid. Eating it makes you feel like you can guard all 5 positions on the court like Ryan does.
Oso Ighodaro: Roasted Poblano Corn Chowder
Oso is from Mesa, so we have to go with a southwestern classic. A little sweetness from the corn, smokiness from the poblano, and you start to realize this soup is a high IQ choice, just like Oso’s game. His passing, hustle, and rebounding don’t dominate a game, but like this soup, you are always glad it is an option. Also, someone in Phoenix should sell Oso’s Poblano Chowder because it just sounds like it would sell.
Nick Richards: Oxtail Stew
The best oxtail soup I ever had was in a Jamaican restaurant. It is a slow-cooked meat and potatoes type of soup. The oxtail is the tail of the cow, and the fattiness melts into the rest of the pot, creating some amazing flavor.
Nick’s first game with the Suns was great, but then we quickly saw he would need to slow-cook something with this team as well. His above-the-rim play and hard-hitting screens are something you feel as a fan watching the game. Similarly, oxtail stew is something you feel in your soul.
Photo by Rey Lopez for The Washington Post via Getty Images
Cody Martin: Chicken and Dumplings
Cody is from North Carolina, and this is a classic Southern soup. You know what you are getting with this soup. It is another reliable soup but without the rich flavors of a Texas brisket or a slow-cooked oxtail. You are never disappointed, you got this soup. It is often just what you need.
Vasilije Micic: Serbian Corba
Since he is technically still on the roster, I will talk about him. Plus, where else can I write about a beef and vegetable sour soup?
A Balkan classic for the Serbian point guard. Beef, root vegetables, and a splash of vinegar that in recipe books look like something grandmothers take a lot of pride in when it is their style.
Unfortunately, we didn’t get to really see Vasa play much, and it sounds like we won’t. He will get a chance to have a lot of soup back in Europe when he returns there, and we might be wondering about the soup that we passed on.
Bonus — Coach Jordan Ott: Lentil Soup
I knew very little about Jordan Ott before the Suns decided he should be the man in charge of the team moving forward. Similarly, I knew very little about lentil soup until my mother-in-law started serving it to me once a week.
It is a boring soup.
There is nothing exciting here. However, maybe that’s what we need. We need real progress, real culture, and real energy to get through the tough season to come. Jordan seems like the kind of guy who would enjoy a bowl of this high fiber, protein, and seasoning soup. A healthy soup and a healthy dose of reality for Suns players and fans.
Well, that’s my list, Suns fans! Everyone on the team (at least for now) who has some money coming to them next year. Hope I made your mouth water a bit and introduced you to a new dish (try a nice borscht, sauerkraut and lamb, or gazpacho soup as well). Just remember that while you explore life’s cuisine, you are what you eat…just like our Suns team.
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