Pit Your Wits ‘23: The Grand Finale

Two NASCAR stock cars approach a finish line with the final lap white flag flying in the forground — Jasen Vinlove-USA TODAY Sports

The season enters the final lap! Who will take home the Championship?

Welcome back to Pit Your Wits, America’s favorite text only game show! Last week was the last chance for anyone to catch gzimmerm before the end of the season, and pretty much everyone else resigned and understandably so. He finished with a commanding 17 point lead over second (technically third behind kilnborn) Justin27. In all, the final standings ended up looking like this:

An admirable effort by all, and congrats to kilnborn for becoming the second player to win both halves! No reward, but it’s still impressive!

We now have two finalists, so what happens now? Well, I’m going to go back and give you each contestants top three most rec’d entries of their respective halves of the season. Then at the end, there will be a poll for you to cast your vote as to who had the best, overall, body of work for the season. Then, quite simply, whoever gets the most votes wins! We’ll start with our first half champion. Below are kilnborn’s top three entries, as well as the prompts that spurred them!

kilnborn

Week 5 — 10 recs: Come up with a cocktail worthy of being on the same menu as the D-Bat dog, the Churro Dog, and the Funnel Cake Chicken Sandwich.

Equal parts Absinthe, Bacardi 151 and Everclear. With a single ice-cube, so you better drink it fast. I call it the Perezchica, because it’ll send you home quick, possibly in a collision.

Week 4 — 6 recs: Come up with one great giveaway for the Diamondbacks to feature at Chase Field this summer.

Week 2 — 4 recs: tell me a feature you would like to see in either a new stadium or renovated Chase Field

A giant turntable under the stadium, so that when a Dback hits a home-run that would otherwise be just foul, the entire stadium could be rotated so that the ball would land fair. Likewise, opponent home-runs balls down the line could have an opposite rotation put in, to force them foul.

And now the second half champ!

gzimmerm

Week 18 — 7 recs: Everything started so well, and then it wasn’t. Your challenge this week is to just tell me why. Explain it to me like I’m five, because clearly something went wrong…

Corbin’s shoulder went pop. Lourdes’ bat lost it’s bop, all the speed decided to stop, and our D-backs began to drop

Week 15 — 4 recs: As far as I know, there are no plans to rebrand the Diamondbacks. But if there were, what would you rename the team?

Embrace the Old West with the Arizona Desperados. It lends to great costuming ideas plus it already has a theme song, although the Eagles are mighty touchy with their copyrights.

Week 13 — 4 recs: choose a Diamondback and tell me what they are bringing to the summer BBQ and why

Pavin Smith will bring Knox Unflavored Gelatin Dessert, which offers no value whatsoever to the meal. Too soon?

The contestants have done their part, now it’s up to you! Vote in the poll below (not in the comments!!) and decide… Who will be the 2023 Pit Your Wits Champion! Go!